Woody (and my epic ‘slutty’ weekend)

 

 

In a previous post I wrote about a guy from my team, Woody, who I spent the night with after having a crappy day and far too much to drink. Well I’ve made my decision, and spent a couple more nights with him. Those couple of nights have reassured me that it was a good call.

 

On Tuesday this week, I went to Woody’s house again, and still drank a bit too much because we were still quite nervous around each other. The sex was a bit more… Satisfying than the first time. It was also a good night, watching Weeds and listening to Pearl Jam. We went for coffee the next morning and bumped into my sister, who we somehow managed to convince that we’d simply bumped into each other on the way in. It was kind of fun being sneaky and lying through our teeth, and not especially scary since it isn’t THAT important that she doesn’t find out!

 

Then came Friday. He was meant to be at training, so I was gonna do some flirting, have a sneaky snog, then go see Andres afterwards and spend the night there. Only Woody had a friend’s birthday to go to, and I got alarmingly disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to see him. On top of this, Andres had been kind of annoying me lately so I wasn’t desperate to go to his. There was only one thing to do – go to training and then to the pub with my teammates, and meet Woody after we were both done and head to his.

 

Best decision of the week! Neither of us were particularly drunk, maybe we felt more confident around each other, and I was ready to feel everything, and able to tell him how I liked it. He was on top form. We fucked, had amazing orgasms and then an epic sleep. He has a rather comfy bed.

 

In the morning we fucked again, then I went home. We made plans to repeat the fun on Sunday night, after he gets back from an away match.

 

For some reason, maybe my body wanting more of the good stuff, I was super horny all of Saturday. I spent the whole day flirting on facebook with some guys, making plans for dates, then went to see Andres for another shag. It was pretty good. Things seem a little off with us at the moment, maybe we’re just annoying each other, but I’m glad we made a couple of hours for ourselves. Then I went to another team-pub-gathering and got a bit touchy touchy with my friend Louise,  who I had one night of passion with last year…

 

With all this fun my uni work is suffering (kind of feels worth it though) so I’m gonna get on with it on Sunday before rewarding myself with some Wood (apologies for the terrible punn). I love my life right now.

A brief bit of reflection on my new life

So far this experience has been good. I’ve had a lot of fun and am becoming more and more sure about polyamory being for me. Although at times I’ve felt lonely not being in a ‘proper’ relationship, I think building on my friendships will help. It’ll also be a lot easier when I’m not working full time, which will happen half way through March (thank god, because I’m exhausted!).

 

Having 3 fuck buddies and (at least) one more by Easter, it can be hard to remember to say no to seeing them, and hard to remember to make time for the gym and other hobbies. That’s something I want to work on. I have my 6 pack to think about! Then again, fucking is kind of exercise right?

 

On a side note, my sister came out to me, and only to me, as polyamorous. I wonder if I that means there’s a genetic cause for polyamory or if it’s to do with our upbringing. Somebody should do a twin study!

Busy girl… (part 2!)

We’ve been through what I did Tuesday, but the rest of the week was pretty eventful too. And rather surprising.

 

Well, Thursday was predictable, I went to see Andres at open mike, went back to his, spent the night (*wink wink*) and then spent Friday skipping uni and instead hanging out watching Jurassic Park. We even took the dog for a walk. And while we were there I really felt like I might be falling for him. Strange how I can feel full of emotion for him in person but feel very indifferent about him after a day apart. Maybe it’s a sign that I have issues… Maybe it just means I have enough other things to focus on in my life. All I know is that, despite my former emotions, by Saturday morning, after spending a night at home, I felt pretty happy to be free and single.

 

A combination of this ‘freeness’ and having a terrible Saturday afternoon probably lead to the very surprising events that followed.

 

Saturday was meant to be a great day. I was playing at a sports event, and it was a pretty casual match so I went in not caring about the results and just wanting to have fun. But the guest captain was horrid, I didn’t get to play the position I’m best at despite our losing scoreline, and the refs made some bad calls, and someone on the other team had an unnecessary go at me. I felt like shit, and needed to spend the night getting drunk with my teammates and forgetting the whole horrid mess.

 

A lot of glasses of wine later, and there were 4 of us left in the pub. Then they kicked us out because they wanted to close up. One woman went home on her bike, one guy was the designated driver, and then there was me and Woody (a male member of the team) who were drunk and flirting outrageously. So in the end I got our driver friend to just drop me off at Woody’s. Thankfully he’s agreed to keep this top secret.

 

I gotta say I didn’t see this coming at all. This guy has history with other people on the team. Things could easily get very messy. But I was being free and a single and drunk so naked time was definitely on the agenda. It was as good as it can be when both parties are wasted. And it wasn’t even awkward the next day!

 

However, now I’m in a situation where I can’t help but flirt in person, and I know we’ll be tempted again, but it’s a lot riskier an encounter than I’d have hoped for. I’m having a bit of a dilemma about it; I fear that if people I know find out, I’ll be in for some slut shaming which I really don’t fancy, but on the other hand if I’m enjoying myself without hurting anyone, what reason do I have to be ashamed?

 

Some reflection on what I end up deciding will definitely be in order. Maybe I should keep away from the wine so that I make a better considered decision. I’ll keep you posted!

What a busy girl I’ve been… (part 1!)

 

 

Time to introduce you to James. I’ve known him for quite a long time now, and he was the second guy I was ever ‘with’. For several reasons (family pressures, distance, ect) things have never been right for us to have a relationship, but we’ve always gotten on great – who dd day playing naked Mario Kart, drinking beer and having great sex? He’s my ‘go-to’ rebound guy, always ready to make me smile when some other bastard has gotten me down.

 

So to change things up a bit, I met up with him on Tuesday without even needing consolation! It was a bit dissapointing to be honest, because he was ill! Typical. But hey, it just meant we could spend more time chatting and catching up and less time shagging. I’m reasonably satisfied in that area anyways.

 

In the past, guys have got in the way of me seeing James because they’re not comfortable with our past encounters. I sort of see where they were coming from, but wish they’d trusted me to see the guy in a purely platonic capacity. It’s nice to be able to see him again, even if we only have the time every couple of months. I don’t fancy letting someone else control these parts of my life anymore – old friends are important. As is naked Mario Kart.

Valentine’s day, ect.

For years I longed to have a date for Valentine’s day. This year I wasn’t so fussed, but Andres insisted I spend the evening with him. We had sex, then ate a pizza, then watched a movie and went to sleep – who says romance is dead?! Though to be honest, I was pretty glad we could just hang out and have a laugh.

 

I thought of last year, when my (terribly boring but head over heels in love with me) ex brought me roses and cooked me a romantic meal. It was nice, granted, as I had never even been bought flowers before, but I’m not sure it was better. Both were pretty good to be honest.

 

As much as Andres continues to try to win me over, I still like this freedom. The flirting is great, as is being able to meet up with long standing friend with benefits, James – a story for my next update. I’ll be honest, it’s sometimes tempting to say ‘Yes I’ll commit and we can get married and have babies!’ but I think that’s just my hormones and / or societal pressure talking. Then he’ll do something awkward like saying the word ‘boner’ in inappropriate company and I’m pretty thankful I’m not stuck with him for life.

 

Unlike in previous encounters, I feel able to let go of any worries when Andres hasn’t called me for a few days, or if he’s spending a lot of time with other women, because, hey, it’s just casual right? And it’s only fair, since I’m talking to other guys as well as spending my time doing university work and playing sports and pubbing with my own friends.

 

So, so far so good! It looks like I’ll be truly testing how I feel about seeing multiple people when I go to spend an evening with the aforementioned James on Tuesday, so I’ll update then. Can’t wait to get reacquainted! 

Andres

I met Andres at a friend’s wedding. He made it very clear that he was interested from the start, which I had no complaints about, given his Latino looks with a metal edge – very sexy combination! Our date shortly afterwards went well. We had coffee, chatted, had a great laugh together. To cut a long story short, I didn’t make it home until the next day, and I didn’t mind that one bit!

 

Since then we’ve met up a couple of times. I saw him at an open mike night and he’s coming to see me at a sports event this weekend. The sex is fantastic, and I feel we could be good friends. Of course I’ve made it clear I don’t want a relationship, but he has expressed an interest in having one. I hope my (possibly brutal) honesty will keep him from getting his hopes up.

 

What’s nice is that I don’t find myself worring about his flaws. Nobody’s perfect, but where I would normally be panicing about whether I can put up with them in the long term, I seem more able to relax with Andres and live in the moment. I’m putting that down to the knowledge that if I do find myself put off, then it’s no big deal.

 

So far I’m liking being able to have physical intimacy, while still having time to enjoy things like spending time with friends and training (and checking people out and being a massive flirt!).

The Begining of a New Experience

I’m wondering, is a monogamous relationship really the best kind of relationship? Is a committed relationship really something people even need? These are the questions that have recently lead me to change my whole outlook on dating.

 

In my experience, monogamous relationships often lead to heartbrake, disappointment and a distinct lack of trust in other people. I’ve decided to try a different type of relationship. I want to be able to have a wide range of experiences, openly meeting new people, having great sex and making lasting friendships.

 

Not having to depend on one particular person should also give me more time to do things just for me for a change. And I’m going to document the whole experience so as to learn as much as possible from it – and hopefully inspire others to make a change in their lives too.

 

Single life, here I come!