Oh my god. It seems there are certain benefits to getting comfortable with someone, and trusting them with your body. In past week, the sex has gone from great to mindblowing.
Firstly, we got talking about fantasies and I mentioned I enjoyed some light bondage and he was keen to try it out with me. I’ve tried it before but a guy has never taken to it so naturally. It was some of the hottest, most passionate sex I’ve ever had. Turns out I really like being tied up.
I then decided I had to return the favour with something I know he enjoys. I did a little research to perfect my technique and then went down on him for a long time. When I eventually let him come he had this massive grin on his face and later told me it was the best blowjob he ever had. So myself esteem was pretty good.
His turn to repay the favour soon came around. Next thing I knew I was having multiple orgasms from his handiwork. This was a first for me. Since then he’s given me multiples with his cock. It was fucking immense.
I’m not gonna write any more until I’ve sobered up, I’m going to become too explicit. Laters.
Okay, it’s been a very long time since my last update. Things have changed. I fell in love. And for his sake I decided to give up my relationships with other people.
Rik looks terrible on paper. When I met him he was smoking pot every day, and his only source of income was selling it to a few mates. I shouldn’t love him but he just makes me so happy. Every minute together is like the best minute of my life. When we’re apart all I want is to be with him, and he feels the same way.
The weirdest thing is that, despite knowing about his drug use and being very opposed to drugs, even my mother likes Rik. I take that as a sign that he must be an amazing person. And he’s stopped selling in the time we’ve been together, and cut down his smoking to a couple of times a week. Without me even asking him to.
This new relationship status of course poses problems for my polyamorous nature. Thankfully, for now at least, Rik is able to keep up with me sexually. He’s amazing in bed. We’ve talked about the option of threesomes (including those with other men, yay!) and swinging, and he says he’s open to those ideas. Of course he may feel differently when we come to it, but it’s good to know that they could happen if / when we feel the need for it in the future.
I’m still able to keep up my relationship with James, but I may find it hard to keep my hands off him if we meet up. I think I’ll have to meet him while with other people, because I don’t want to risk hurting Rik.
That’s it for now. I’ll try and get back to updating more often!
This one isn’t quite as much of a downer. And it definitely needs its own post. The only reason I’m thinking ‘Uh oh’ is because I’m falling for Rik. I just can’t stop seeing him! I don’t feel ready to be in love yet, it’s too soon since my last relationship and I feel like caring too much for someone will take away from my sense of independence and doing things for myself.
I’ve seen Rik 8 out of the last 10 days without even meaning to. As I mentioned before, he went home on Wednesday. I then had him over on Friday to help me paint. He was such a huge help and again made me smile all day. He came to training which was good because he could chat to his brother while I trained with the girls on the team. Then he stayed the night on the sofa with me because it was snowing heavily so I couldn’t drive him home in the dark.
I took him home the next morning and ended up staying at his for lunch and generally just hanging out. He cheered me up about my fighting with Louise. He made me feel ok about my plans for the day being canceled (James got snowed in so he couldn’t take me out to dinner on Saturday evening).
When I eventually went home it was only a few hours before I went back to pick him up and bring him to mine again. I had a good excuse – my mum hit her head and couldn’t paint so we needed his assistance – and he was happy to help us out. At least we had a bed to sleep in that night!
That meant he was still at mine on Sunday. I had a friendly match so he came along to watch. He didn’t even mind me being all sweaty afterwards hehe.
Sunday night he stayed over yet again. We chatted until 3am. This is the night I really started feeling myself falling for him. There are too many smiles and too much laughter. I’m addicted. (And ohmygodtheSEX). When he went home on Monday I was truly sad to see him go. And I believe he felt the same because he texted me right after he left to say that he missed me.
So here I am now, wondering if I should keep seeing him more because it makes us happy or put off seeing him in an attempt to slow things down. Advice appreciated! I think I’m gonna have to go with what feels right as and when it happens. I’m scared but also excited. Aahhh!
Wow, it’s been almost a week since my last post. I’ve been crazy busy with doing up the house so the time has just gotten away from me. There are a couple of big updates so I’m splitting them up.
Uh oh part 1 and 2
Let’s start with the ‘Uh oh’ that lead on from seeing Woody. I found out that, the night before we got together he had been with another woman on the team. They’d been seeing each other for a couple of weeks and she was under the impression it was turning into a relationship. He’d made her keep it secret by saying if his ex found out it could be messy – which is why I had absolutely no idea. And he didn’t tell me despite knowing I was happy for him to see other people.
But the worst bit is that she had no idea they weren’t serious until I mentioned in conversation at the pub that I was sleeping with him (because I was concussed, not drunk, and running my mouth a bit). I felt terrible when I found out but thankfully she understands that I had no clue and she is just pissed off at him.
So basically Woody and I aren’t on great terms any more because he should not have done that to my friend, especially with me. Oh and the ex that would cause all the drama has found out through the grape vine about this anyway.
And I’ve been arguing with Louise over who should be apologising to who about some drunken things that were said on her birthday night out. I know now that we can’t see each other again as anything more than friends because her feelings are gonna get hurt because I prefer my relationships and sexual encounters with men to my sexual encounters with her. It sucks and now I’m regretting ever sleeping with her. I hate to have regrets, they serve no purpose other than to upset people.
[Something a little happier is coming up in part 3, I promise.]
The past weekend, things really didn’t go to plan. I was meant to be seeing Woody on Friday but had to cancel because of certain monthly things. We rearranged for Sunday but then he cancelled last minute. Thankfully Rik came to the rescue so I ended up seeing him Sunday night and most of Monday (where I was originally seeing Woody) as well as seeing Rik on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning.
Sunday turned out to be really good. Once I got over feeling kinda ditched I ended up having a great time with Rik. So much so that the next day I didn’t want to leave him, so brought him to uni with me for a few hours. I should point out that I didn’t end up getting a hell of a lot of studying done.
Eventually I had to go home but Tuesday came quickly enough and he came to mine for the first time. We played with hair dye and I laughed so much my face hurt! It was lovely waking up to him too but it sucked saying bye a few hours later…
Wednesday kind of spiraled down a bit. Woody ended things with me. I guess he saw us more as single people who were sleeping together rather than a poly relationship, and basically just found someone else. Someone he feels he can settle down with. I guess that’s fair – he is 9 years older than me and I know he’s after a proper family fairly soon, which I am in no way ready to give him.
That puts me down to 2! Both of which are unfortunately not local. But I’m making time for James more now. I really can’t wait to see him this weekend. He’s taking me out for dinner then being my date to a friend’s birthday drinks. I hope it’s not too awkward that Woody will also be attending the birthday drinks.. it should be fine though as there are no hard feelings.
So that’s my past week! I’m feeling a bit down right now which is to be expected but I know that life goes on and I still have plenty things to enjoy. Laters.
I realised I don’t post a lot about the most long-standing man in my life, James. I guess it’s because we only get to see each other once a month at most, due to busy work and being quite a distance apart. Plus he is the only man I’m seeing with numerous other relationships, so that takes up time too.
James was my second ever sexual partner, and was kind of a rebound from my first relationship. We tried dating (exclusively) after we first met but then he had problems in his family and the stress was too much for our new relationship to handle. Since then we’ve been in communication on and off, because when I’ve been seeing other people they’ve gotten jealous and I haven’t made contact. Despite this he’s always been there to pick up the pieces after the relationships failed. Hence why I refer to him as my regular rebound guy!
We’ve tried a few times to be a couple, but it just doesn’t work. We both like being with other people and spending time alone too much so there was never any trust.
But since changing my way of seeing relationships things have been much more consistently good between us. We text most days, chat freely about the other people we’re seeing and can get each other through the low moments – we have already seen each other at our worst, after all. And the times we do get to see each other are valued. We make sure it’s just us, dress up for each other, cook for each other, and stay up all night playing video games and having sex.
What was once very much a physical relationship has evolved; it has become an intimate frienship. The kind where you can not talk or see each other for a while but when you do talk it’s like you were together yesterday. We have developed more respect for each other recently, through being able to be completely honest with each other and understanding how we each feel.
When he found out my cat died, he called straight away to comfort me, and made a long trip just to take me out to dinner to cheer me up.
So I thought I would pay him a little tribute here. I can’t wait to see him again in a couple of weeks. It’s gonna be ace.
This week got off to a pretty good start. I must’ve gotten through to Woody because on Monday he asked me when we could see each other next. I suggested Friday but he convinced me to come over that very night (even though it meant he had to get up at 7am the next day because I needed to get a lift to uni then).
So Woody picked me up at 9pm and we went back to his, and had great night with wine and music and talking about marrying rich doctors… As you do. We both seem to be on the same page about what we are to each other, it’s great.
Staying up late having sex, plus the wine, made Tuesday morning REALLY hurt. Thankfully morning sex woke us up a bit. Then I washed, dressed, said goodbye and left for uni.
Uni was tough. I actually fell asleep in my first lecture, then during lunch I went to the next lecture room early and slept there while I could. I can’t remember the last time I felt so tired. The nap sort of worked though, because I managed to stay conscious during the afternoon!
Then I got picked up from uni by Rik and went back to his. We would have gone out for a while if it hadn’t been so incredibly cold. Instead we ‘had to’ go straight to his bedroom and put a movie on. Let’s be honest, I didn’t see much of the movie. It was worth it though, because having sex with Rik for the first time was a very enjoyable experience. Plus we had chip sandwiches and some random blue drink that’s about 90% sugar. Good times! We followed the feast up with (another) nap before I had to leave.
I can’t complain about starting the week in such a way. I managed to get a lie in this morning so am no longer passing out from tiredness. And I have training to look forward to tonight, where I’m ready to push my body hard. Obviously Woody will be there which can be pretty tense. I’m fairly sure about half the team know about us now, but we’re both really aware of trying not to flirt with each other. Rik’s brother (who definately knows about me and Woody, and me and his brother) will be there too. Thankfully he’s pretty cool about these things. It’ll be fun tonight even if I do get a bit awkward! Just gotta focus on my skills and cardio tonight, NOT my sex life!